Pauldeman wrote me an email asking the following, “I want to improve my People Dealing ability. Teach me how to deal with people. I specifically struggle dealing with criticism. I work in retail and want to know:
Well Paul De’ Man, I have an answer for you. In this article I’ll focus on Dealing with Criticism. In the next, I’ll cover How to Handle Customer Complaints.
You should read my article on How to Motivate yourself, to learn some technical terms that I will use in this article.
The reason people have a hard time stopping criticism is because it is hard to stop people from criticizing you. But, it is easy to train your mind to be unaffected by criticism.
The following psychoanalysis technique will:
Before you try this technique, read my motivational article. You need to know how to visualize and see yourself in a dissociated state before you can continue.
What is Anchoring?
I’ve never talked about anchoring in the past, so I’ll go over it now. Did you know that a large percentage of church going people stop going to church after the death of a loved one? Researcher’s believe it has little to do with blaming God for the loved ones death and it instead has a lot to do with Anchoring.
Anchoring is when you associate a certain memory, feeling or behavior to some form of stimulus. Like Pavlov associated a bell ringing to a dog’s salivating.
Researcher’s found that after a traumatic death, many people associate those feeling’s with the church. Hence, every time they go back to church (the Anchor), they are overwhelmed by their loved ones death again and again. They normally stop going all together.
Anchor’s can be extremely debilitating. Let’s say this person is hugged repetitively during the funeral. They may then trigger the feelings associated with the loved ones death with hugs. If people repeat the phrase, “I’m sorry”, that can also become a trigger.
It’s believed that 90% of all psychological problem’s can be associated with negative anchor’s.
I’ve talked about how negative emotion’s are anchored. Now you’ll learn how to trigger positive ones.
Create & Anchor a Resourceful State
If you can visualize a moment when you most intensely felt any positive feeling, you can Anchor it and have it at your disposal. Here is the process:
Dealing with Criticism
Now that you have your Resourceful Anchor, it will be easy to handle criticism constructively. While you follow the following steps, if you start to feel negative in anyway, touch your Resourceful Anchor. Now follow these step’s:
Understand all criticism’s are just feedback or an opinion. If I tell you, “It is my opinion that the sky is green”, why should you lash out? Just think that’s information I can’t use and forget it. If I was to say, “You are rude”, you now know to ask why calmly, or to just disregard this feedback.
That’s All Folk’s
I hope that helps Paul, or who ever reads this? If you have a comment or question leave it below in the comment section.
Here to Serve