Kathym12 wrote in asking how to stop depression. We’ll Kathy people who find themselves in a state of prolonged depression should seek the help of professionals. I will however cover what the professionals say to do in this article.
Depression is just one of many psychological states a person can experience. You may prefer to look at depression as just one of the attitudes that shapes how we experience the world.
What normally compounds depression is the feeling that you have no control over it. That’s wrong! There are very specific steps you can take to quickly change your attitude.
Remove Depression Immediately
You become depressed in a similar way to how you become happy. If you think it’s impossible to stop depression, I guarantee you will no longer be depressed after you go sky diving. So, if this act of jumping out of a plane, being terrified, landing and surviving eliminates depression instantly, why would there not be less extreme solutions.
Most people try to get rid of depression by listing why they are depressed. This is not only not helpful, but may compound the depression. You need to instead ask, “how do you create the feeling of depression?” Continue asking:
I wrote a lot about Neuro Linguistic Programming in a previous article. It’s probably better to read that first, so you understand some of the jargon I’ll be using.
The Mind and the Reverse Idea
You have to think about what you want, and not what you don’t want. The mind finds it impossible to understand a statement such as, I want to stop being depressed. The reason why, is that to think about not being depressed the mind must first think about depression.
Don’t believe me? You probably have not thought of a turtle all day, so don’t think about turtles now. You definitely don’t want to picture a turtle in your mind. While not thinking about a turtle, don’t imagine a monkey on the turtle’s back. Don’t imagine the monkey is waving at you. And definitely don’t imagine the monkey has a sombrero on it’s head. Get the point?
By suggesting that you don’t imagine something you do just that. You need to instead find what you want and move toward that. Not away from depression.
When you decide what you want, make sure it is what you want and not what you should want. These incongruent thoughts defeat many a well laid plan. If you don’t define exactly what you want you will find it hard not to procrastinate toward that goal.
Why Do People Behave the Way they Do
People behave the way they do based off of their values, beliefs, needs and habits. These things create our own personal view of reality. What is amazing is that our realities can change instantly. Here is an example:
How do you feel about this man?
Now how do you feel about this man? Your whole reality switched in a second, with just a bit more information.
Imagine a Great Day
Since we create our own reality and our reality is based off of what we imagine is going own, does it work the other way? Yes, but like learning anything new you have to be prepared for mistakes, or feedback as I prefer to call it.
Like my baby learning to walk, anything worth doing, is worth doing badly. If you learn from mistakes, falling short of your goals doesn’t make you a failure. It just makes you able to avoid those mistakes in the future.
You are In Charge of your Life
Never let others take control of how you want to feel. How differently would you have reacted to the man above, if you knew he had an injured child in the car. So, if someone spouts off at you, just assume they have their reasons and move on having your good day.
You can’t let any unpleasant experience or crazy person ruin your day. They are not in charge, you are!
You Have the Tools
If you have ever felt happy, empowered, or on top of the world, you have the tools to change your state of mind at will. If not, you should probably try sky diving 🙂 Most people get stuck in an unresourceful state when they feel they are running out of option’s. So, we are going to now get you to remember a resourceful happy you.
Why Does My Brain Allow Me to Feel Bad?
We enter and store information in our brains based off of what we:
When we are asked a question, or we pose a question to ourselves, our brain retrieves these remembered experiences. If I ask you what you ate for dinner last night, you remember through your senses. If I then ask, “what are you eating tonight”, a similar pattern occurs.
People get stuck in a negative pattern when they constantly ask themselves negative questions:
Many studies have found that the one difference between people that consistently succeed versus others is found here. Highly successful people think mainly about succeeding. They expect success! They are shocked temporarily by a setback. They then expect success they next time. Why?
Our Brains Follow the Consistency Principle
I wrote a lot about this in a previous article Bargaining for Advantage. The Consistency Principle basically states that we will always strive to remain consistent with any statement we make out load, or in our own head. If we are feeling overall negative, our brains will not except positive thoughts. We do this with three filters:
This is how a person feeling negative only sees, remembers and exposes themselves to bad things. You have to change your whole way of thinking and believe it. Have you ever performed so beyond the normal you that you noticed and stated in your head that this is not normal. Did you then start to perform less spectacular? That was your brain keeping you consistent.
You must develop a new pattern of learning and practice being the new successful you. And now we are going to do just that.
If you didn’t read my Introduction to NLP article read it now. Now follow these steps:
Continue on for as long as you want. Imagine all of these things happening.
You are the only person that controls how you feel. You alone decide how anything effects you. Remember, you have an infinite variety of choices you can make. Always keep your options open, and you then will be in charge of your own destiny.
That’s All Folk’s
I hope that helps you. People also find great enjoyment in yoga, meditation, working out, etc. Whatever it is do it. The last thing you want to do is sit alone and do nothing.
If you have a question, leave it in the comment section below. I love to talk with you.
Here to Serve